DUMB- NOT DEAF

Married girls should be dumb not deaf

When I get troubled with my in laws all well wishers keep telling me behave like deaf and dumb.

I actually tried doing that, it turned out to be a working formula to some extent, and then I realized that the above sentence needs a slight modification it should say be dumb but not deaf.  Because the problem persists ,if you behave as deaf as your in laws want to vent out their frustration by speaking and they want a trash can to dump their frustrations. Hence the dumb factor becomes so so important because only being dumb can nullify the Newton’s law “to every action there is a reaction”. No deaf and totally dumb goes so much in hand in hand that if you disturb the delicate balance, the entire harmony is gone.

Dumb means not to utter a word and keep listening to all the shit. The moment you break your silence you are gone. People will rip you apart. No one will support you as you will be tagged as a one who talks back and misbehave. Believe me YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR LIFE the moment you utter a word.

The Saviour

You yourself are your saviour. No one will help you, it’s your fight and you are all alone in this. But that doesn't mean you lose your courage and hope. Always remember someone somewhere is looking at all this. No efforts go waste and no wrong deed goes without punishment.  History tells us that everyone has to pay back. You can think both ways either it’s your payback time or the one who is troubling you will have to pay back. If you set your mind like this the kind of satisfaction you will get is immense.

The “NEW YOU”

Well the output of all this? You will emerge as “new you”. Full of vigour, hope and desires. Fully matured with a wonderful thought process.  Small things don’t bother you much and you look forward for good and better things. You know your limits and you are so flexible. You have mastered the art of “feeling happy” and mere” looking happy”. You truly understands the meaning of “Count your blessings”. You laugh looking back at the moments where you acted dumb. And you really know how perfect you are that people are so jealous of you. You understand the kind of inferiority complex you gave them. It’s not you who is fighting it’s them struggling to save their position in your presence. 

You will see yourself humming “khud Jiyo auro ko bhi jeenay do”

-Anshul

Full Circle.....

Life has come to a full circle, and I am sure from here the life will again take a turn and a new beautiful chapter will start with a positive outcome

This is very same place from where I started this journey and the struggle which gave me wonderful outcome. All the struggled paid back in three beautiful instalments i.e. 27 Jan 2007, 29 Jan 2008 & 6 march 2013.

Once again I am in Jaipur, the place where after falling in love we were never able to stay together. I didn't know how, when, what, why only thing I knew was that he is the one with whom I want to spend rest of my life. 

I remember the pain when we were not able to meet for several months. Internet was far-fetched and mobiles were not that handy. No I am not that old this is just 15 years old scene.

With the limited pocket money we used to get it was difficult to manage both college and calls. And on top of that timings played their role too; when I was free he was not and when he was free I am not.  The only thing propelled us was the desire and determination to be one and to be together

Life is again taking the same test, this is its more deep as in the previous struggle I knew that I want to be with him totally unaware of how it feels to be together, I was alone and free from any responsibility.  This time this separation happened after 7-8 years of living together; I am not alone and  have many responsibilities .The pain is intense and so will be the reward, because difficult roads lead to beautiful destination

We are living separately, we hardly have time to speak, we keep longing for meeting each other, when he comes I cry out of happiness when he leaves I cry in pain, we have restricted phone calls, we keep mailing each other in between work, I can see that many things are same and so is the madness. Yes the madness for each other, the madness to be together again, and the madness to kill this time.

We have done this in the past and now are no exception. Perseverance is the great element of success; if you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate you are sure to make it to someone. I know the love the bond we share is that strong that it can knock long & loud.

-Anshul

THE MASK WE WEAR TO HIDE THE FACES

Does it mean looking good, dressing up well, decked up nicely  always show you are happy, you have no problems and everything is perfect in your life?

No, it’s just wearing a mask on the face which tells the truth about you.!!!!!

The question pops up immediately here is why do we need a mask? We need a mask because in one single day we play 10 different roles and every time, every place, everything cannot go right. Just to make sure that the failure of role played at one end doesn't affect the performance of role play at other end makes it necessary to wear a mask.  Per-say you cannot goof up in a business deal just because you had a fight with spouse in the morning. You can’t spoil your anniversary dinner because your had an argument with your manager.

Many times it is there to create a perception among masses about you, to be socially acceptable many times it is to show off .And also many times it is to console self, yeah it’s a way of saying “All izz Well” At times this mask hides the loneliness, get rid of insecurity, at times it makes you look strong, at times “wanted” at times popular and at times save face

The next thing bothering you by now is it good to wear a mask? Answer is yes-no. If the mask is for your own survival, if it resolves your inner conflict, it helps you to sail through a tough phase then probably it’s a Yes, if it’s about being opportunist, fooling others, or using them then may be a NO.

People feel expressing ones emotion is the very tough but it’s the half truth, the real difficult thing is to hide the emotions, absorb them, stay calm and still stay focused. It takes lot of time and courage to learn the art of hiding emotions, and this art in itself is equivalent to wearing mask. Wearing a mask to hide emotions is many times is just a way of saying “I Love you so much that I let the things comes to me the way they are sieve them and I will give you the desired once, absorbing the left over’s.; As I know the things which makes me sad, vulnerable, unhappy will impact you too and I can’t see my love to be sad.”

So next time you see a smiling face, a dressed up girl, a friendly man, a face book album with 100 pictures just remember the song, “tum itna jo muskura rahe ho kya gum jisko chupa rahe ho”. Life is not perfect for anyone; everyone has their share of problems. Something which is not relevant to you can be a big problem for others and the things bothering you day and night may hold no significance in other person’s life.

-Anshul

Moments...

"Life is not about the moments you breathe; it’s about the moments that take your breath away."

Life in itself is an experience; each day is new and brings new hopes and new challenges. At the end of the day what exactly matters are the memories we are building up.

In the sinusoidal wave only the crest or the troughs gets noticed. Crest has a meaning because trough exists. When we look back we only remember days with extraordinary experiences; a day passed normally has no significance. We know good days only after experiencing bad days and vice versa. Memories of good time will help you sail through the hard times and the memories of hard times make good times more enjoyable. Many times we don’t realize that a particular moment that is so natural for us in current time can become a lovable memory for tomorrow.

Regrets & Grudges

What spoils the fun here are the regrets we do and grudges we carry. They occupy our mind and their presence is so dominant that they curb other feelings and emotions. The entire focus shifts from building memories to taking revenge and repenting on wrong deeds.

I remember my soul mate’s sentence here and can’t stop myself mentioning it here “don’t regret on the decisions taken in past as those were the once we took to best of our capacity and knowledge in given circumstances” and for grudges I will quote mine, “don’t carry grudges as “KARMA” will take care of the right and wrong; good and bad”

The Perfect way

There is no rule book or guidelines to live a balanced and perfect life. Per say perfect life doesn’t exist; not even in fairytales as Cinderella too cleaned the dishes, washed the clothes, Thumbelina was too tiny to get noticed and Rapunzel was locked away in tower in middle of woods. The key here is “Hope” & “Desire”; i.e. don’t lose hope in bad times and don’t settle down for less than what you deserve in life. Take each day as it comes and try to make most of it. Count your blessings and at times go with the flow.